Resources for Family and Friends
We know that everyone grieves in their own way and unfortunately there isn’t a ‘right’ way to grieve.
While each situation and family beliefs are different, there are many things families appreciate during this time. Providing a hug, holding a hand, or even sitting in silence can comfort your friend or family member.
Processing these emotions will feel like a rollercoaster for the loss parent. Make sure they know they are not alone and that you love them and support them.
What to say to someone who has had a loss:
I’m sorry for your loss. I am here for you
I am bringing you dinner this week, let me know what day works for you.
Grief knows no timeline. Take all the time you need.
This is unfair. This is hard. It’s OK to be sad.
What’s your baby’s name?
Tell me about your baby, I’d love to listen.
Be present.
What to avoid saying to someone who has had a loss:
Do you think you did something to cause this?
At least you know you can get pregnant.
You’re young, you can have more children.
I guess this wasn’t meant to be.
Everything happens for a reason.
You’ll be a parent someday.
It could of been worst…
Lets get practical…
Clean their house
Make dinner and drop it off
If there are other children, take them from an outing
Fill up their gas tank/get their car detailed
Clear your afternoon, bring coffee or lunch and sit with them
Send a personalized gift with the baby’s name
Purchase wind chimes
Donate to a charity of their choice in memory of their baby
Have a tree planted at a local park in memory of their baby
Friends and family,
Notice we didn’t say ‘offer to clean the house’ or ‘offer to make dinner’. As a loss parent, when you say ‘let me know what you need’, we don’t actually know what we need. We aren’t in a place to reach out or respond because our world just turned upside down. Even if you offer those things to us, we will most likely say no because we don’t want to be a burden to you. So make the dinner, clean the house, bring the coffee and know how much we appreciate it even if we have a hard time communicating it.